I’m going to share a quick post on something that we did today.
Morgan starting school is a sore subject for me. Since her birth, I’ve pretty much controlled, who has had contact with her. When and if people would interact with her. Protected her from the flu and germs (YUCK). That’s been a great feeling. I was completely in control of my child and I’ve appreciated and enjoyed that. But with her coming up on school eligibility and age, that sweet period of comfortably, is coming to an end. Let me be honest and frank, I really am not excited, nor happy about it at all and I’m actually terrified and not comfortable with the idea of this being a reality within the next few years. Just to be 100% clear on that.
I’m deciding to share my thoughts and experience of today with everyone. So this morning, Morgan, her father and I, spent about two hours this morning with special education staff from DCPS Early Stages evaluating her. The experience over all was extremely positive, and since she has been in a program with Strong Start (which is our cities early intervention services for kids with special needs), we were pretty prepared on what to expect. The process will take about 4 weeks overall to evaluate (all of her medical records, the actual evaluation they did on site today, the best options for her, etc.) and we’ll find out then what they saw and what the suggestion for beginning school will be.
So here I go again, sharing things because right now, I’m in a place where my circle of love and light (friends) that I use to have is spread extremely thin (I’ll post about that later maybe) I’m turning to my readers to share in my feelings and support. Here we go:
One of my main points since learning that Morgan would have developmental issues was that we (me and her father and my parents) wouldn’t look at what milestone’s and developmental markers she wasn’t meeting because we knew already that she was going to have some and that it may take some time to catch up. It must be understood that my child – my sweet baby girl has had multiple surgeries, vision impairment, coded (died) at birth, a shunt, brain bleed, etc. So to put it lightly that she’s lucky to be alive and her…is an understatement. This is my child! My love, my light, my life and the whole reason, I’m even still on this celestial plane. So when anyone and I mean anyone, comes for her “development delays” and how she’s supposed to be doing this and that because other “two-year” olds are…I get pissed. The first thing I really want to say is FUCK YOU and storm off but as an adult, mother and black woman trying to prove I’m not a hot-headed angry woman, I’ve had to learn to conduct myself in a more proper manner. So my usual response is to explain why I choose not to compare her and why I don’t think it’s fair to compare her to other kids who have not gone thru what she’s been thru in her short 2 years. Sometimes, it’s met with open ears and open hearts and other times, I feel resistance to my way of thinking. But as her mother, my way of thinking is “QUEEN” because I refuse to say (the name of the idiot president we have in office currently) but you know what I mean. It’s my job to make decisions about how I want her raised and I DID and would do it again WITHOUT GIVING A SECOND THOUGHT TO THE DECISION!
With that being said…EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR ALMOST 365 DAYS…my father has read Morgan a night-time story. We started this while she was in the NICU and carried the tradition home. It was important for her to hear my voice, hear words, stories, etc. We’ve be praised by our doctors on why they think her ventricles from her brain bleed have healed so fast and why she is as far as she’s gotten – because of the reading and learning we do with her. Her father feeds her and has taught her how to feed herself. My mother spends countless hours teaching her body parts and words and movements from ASL(American Sign language) that our speech therapist has taught us. She talks to her and loves on her (like we all do). We teach her colors and shapes and noises and make sounds for her to learn from. We’ve gotten flash cards (too early but still) and felted items (numbers and letters) and bought every single toy that makes noise and talks to her and that we can personalize. YOU NAME IT…WE’VE TRIED IT. WE HAVE WORKED HARD TO MAKE SURE THAT SHE IS NOT “A VEGETABLE” LIKE WE WERE TOLD SHE WOULD BE! (The term vegetable hurts my soul when attached to telling Morgan’s story)…My girl was never meant to be that and isn’t and wasn’t!
Anyway…It came up today and though they were very understanding…being asked about it by the “educators” was a little different but not necessarily negative at all, just different.
We will find out the results in April and hopefully…I can keep my composure during that meeting. Again…I go hard protecting my little mama.
Peace, Love and Learning,