Grad School & Why I’m doing this

UGHHHHH…

Life happens right. But It never fails that something happens and I end up having to put the blog on hiatus. But…I’m definitely going to make it work this time. I was extremely invested in my last blog which was about my serious passion for film and tv but after having Morgan, I put it on pause and eventually dismantled the website.  I will totally from time to time talk about movies and shows on here because…well let’s face it…I love them and they play a key role into who I am.  But regardless trying to keep up with cool and interesting topics is hard sometimes. In my previous post – I spoke about my ridiculous habit of having writers block and how I haven’t been able to write because of it but then I threw myself into another mother of a loop-hole because I’m also in graduate school.

Surprisingly, I always think my life is really boring and that I wish I lead this really cool life where I was a constant traveler, had the money and time to shop all day and was the most amazing self-taught cook…but the reality is that I’m a full-time Mommy first and a half time Graduate Student, blogger, employee, friend, etc. second.  Pretty much everything comes second to the baby.

Grad School is ROUGH!!! Anyone whose been thru it and succeeded…I salute you.  Anyone who tried and put it on hold…I salute you too.  Anyone who never went for higher education degrees or certificates…I salute you too! Sometimes knowing yourself and your limitations or what will work for you…is a good thing.  I’m one that constantly toys with the idea of wanting this additional degree but I really don’t want to work for it. Laziness…I know but it’s more that I am over writing long papers, sitting in lectures, working on group projects, not having enough time to sleep, stressing that If I don’t pass the class that I’ll have to pay for a class I failed and just that…failing in general. I also worry myself crazy that I am not as intellectual as I once thought. I’ll give you some reasons why 1)There are people who can spout off statistics and they actually make sense and are facts 2) Those folks also spend hours working on research 3) They have sincere passion for their subjects of study and also lets face it….4) They probably have time to read a newspaper – which is something I don’t have time for. So I feel behind when I’ve been told and reassured by my professors that I am not but instead a late intellectual bloomer.

I’m extremely proud that I finally had the courage to go after my degree and was able to finally be excepted into a program that is of extreme interest to me…Women and Gender Studies.  The funny thing is that this program started off as something that I was just off/on interested in and never saw me wanting to be educated on full-time but it happened and I’m so glad it did.   I realized last semester that I’m invested in wanting to know more because I want Morgan to know about feminism (something I wasn’t really taught about as a kid) and her rights as a black women and her rights as a woman and that she too can have a voice if she so chooses.  So I’m doing this for myself but also very much with Morgan in mind.

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I have no idea who the artist is for this but loved it!

For one…anyone who knows me which I will go more into in another post knows that I am not a traditional feminist. I have feminist qualities but I don’t think it makes me any less feministic that I do not identify as a feminist.  The classic term of feminist varies across the board but the definintion is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social equality of sexes but mainly for women.  Personally, I have no issue with that definition or any other that is closely related but I struggle often in class trying to explain why I am not feminist and therefore, why I am even interested in Women and Gender Studies.  But the true answer is because I want everyone to accept everyone, I want to be offered and treated in the work place and at home the same way men are, I want the government to stop regulating my body, I want people to accept that women aren’t weak or unworthy, for people to understand that a women’s choice in not not wanting to be a mother is acceptable and doesn’t make her less than, that a women should have the RIGHT to choose, and these are just my little wants.  But over all – as much as I complain about being in school – I love to learn and want desperately to be knowledgeable about things that I’d otherwise not known anything about.

I found this piece a few years ago and thought I don’t agree with all of it…I love it…

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But I will always agree that…

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Anyone else in Grad School or Whose Graduated that can share experiences?

Peace, Love and Studying,

L’Erin

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